We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

~ Angelina Jolie

So, Leeneybugs, Jujujen, and I went to see Sex and the City yesterday. I thought it was great. It’s so hard to take a half hour format and turn it into a 2 hour plus movie. But it far exceeded my expectations. There were some things that didn’t quite jive with the original series, but overall I thought that the film was very well done and I hope that there are more to come. AbbysMom met us for dinner afterward, as she didn’t want to see the movie.

Sex and the City always makes me think about love and relationships, obviously.

I think that we are taught that the only way that romantic love arrives is through this big lightning strike that says, here, here is the person!! And the heavens open up and the spotlight is shown. And sure, sometimes it is like that. But sometimes, love comes quietly and takes you by surprise.

Maybe you’re friends with someone for a long time and all of a sudden, you see him or her in a different light. You weren’t planning on it, you didn’t mean to, you had never felt that way before. Reasons that you had subconsciously held for not dating that person disappear and you suddenly see where you fit, rather than where you don’t.

I don’t believe that love can only come in that first moment you meet someone new and run through the possibility of falling in love with him or her. I believe that it can come later on. And friendship as the basis of love is what many successful couples have.

So, here are some updates on the men in my life. And yes, I’m still not dating.

Pookie

Texted me yesterday to let me know that he had the job in NC and that he would be moving by the end of the month. I wished him well.

Coach

Ohhhhh, Coach. His birthday was yesterday, so I had im’d him to wish him a happy one. He im’d back today while I was online that he had met a 24 year old for sex on Friday. Niiiice. He just turned 62. So he cheated on his wife with someone new to feel young again, I’m guessing.

I really do believe that one of the reasons he strays is that his wife is no longer able to have children because of age and for whatever reason, he feels the need to fight his age by trying to be with a woman who could potentially reproduce. I don’t know, is this normal? Do all men feel the loss when they can’t reproduce again? Is this something so far into our biology that it can just take over?

In any case, I told him to be careful, as not everyone is as nice (stupid) as I am and if they find out if he’s married, they might just go to his wife.

Random men who don’t have nicknames on here

So, a man I’ll call ArmyBoy im’d me earlier this week to let me know he would be in town and asked if he could see me. ArmyBoy is someone I met about a year and a half ago. He’s in the Army (duh) and his family lives here in town. He was home over a break and we started chatting online. Eventually we met in person and we would see each other whenever he was in town. He is in Iraq or Afghanistan the majority of the time.

While I was with NETboy, the only time I ever came close to cheating on him was with ArmyBoy. I was hurting, had been torn down again by the other side of NETboy, and yes, I needed some comfort from someone who had nothing to do with the situation. It was almost the same to me as getting a massage or a facial – just something that was just for me. A place in time where I wasn’t struggling through a terrible relationship in a strange city.

We had made the plans, but I never followed through. I couldn’t do it. I loved NETboy and I stayed true. ArmyBoy declared his feelings for me, but I said no. I loved NETboy and I wasn’t ready to give up.

In any case, ArmyBoy came back over this last Christmas and wanted to see me. I said yes, as we do have a great time together. However, it turned out this his girlfriend was accompanying him to meet his parents. I did not know about her until then. I said fine, and I moved on.

He im’d me this week and wanted to see me. I asked about the girlfriend. She is now his fiancee. And yet, he still wants to see me. I said, why? He said, because I miss you. I don’t get it: you’ve decided to spend the rest of your life with one woman, and because you’re simply going to be in town….you think it’s acceptable to be with me? No….you have made a commitment to her. He said, I’m not married yet. I said, no, but you’re engaged and I can’t do that. I just can’t. It’s not who I am. It’s not who I want to be. He tried to guilt me into it, but I said no.

The other one is not worth writing about.  Suffice to say, I turned him down as well.